• Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
  
• What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve ?They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
  
•     How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
      They both have ornamental balls.
  
• Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
  The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
  The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
  It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
  
• Santa court mein judge se:
  Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
  meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!
  
• Q. Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich ?
  Ans. Because the poor didn't have any !
  
•  Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
  A: Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
  
• Father Christmas: What's your favorite Christmas story?
  Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad Wolf and they grow on trees!
  Father Christmas: You mean 'The Three Little Figs'.
  
• Please Jung Lee, just once... play Weeweechu with me.
  
• I went to the garden centre today and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me, "Will you be putting that up yourself?"
  
  I replied, "No, you sick fuck. I'll be putting it up in my living room."
  
• Q. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective ?
  A. Santa Clues!
  
• Q. How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
  A. The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.