Funny Adult Christmas Jokes

• What do you call a snowman in the summer?
  A puddle.
  
  What do you call a snowman in the tropics?
  Lost.
  
• Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza.
  The salesgirl asked him:- 'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?'
  
• Advent sermon: 'What is hell?'
  Come early and listen to our carol practice.
  
• Only six shopping days ’til Christmas! Or if you’re a bloke – only five and a half days ’til you start your Christmas shopping.
  
• Just a reminder in these tough economic times that instead of spending five dollars on my Christmas card, you could just give me five dollars.
  
•  I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
  
•  I try to be unusually kind and compassionate to those around me during the Holidays, because I never know who will end up being my Secret Santa.
  
• Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
  
• Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.