Top Christmas Wishes Messages For Adults

1. Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. Merry Christmas!
   
   
2. Hope your Christmas is as warm and sweet as a cup of hot
   cocoa and filled with more granted wishes than you can count.
   
   
3. I see the spirit of Christmas around me wherever I go. I hope you
   are able to feel the spirit inside you as well as it brings me great joy
   
   
4. Love, Peace and Joy came down on Christmas day to make you happy and
   cheerful. May Christmas spread cheer in your lives! Merry Christmas
   
   
5. I love the Christmas tide, and yet; I notice this, each year
   I live; I always like the gifts I get; But how I love the gifts I give!
   
   
6. May the Christmas season
   fill your home with joy,
   your heart with love
   and your life with laughter.
   
   
7. A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love.
   A blessed Christmas to you!
   
   
8. My best friend deserves nothing but the best, so
   I wrote this quote for you. Merry Christmas
   
   
9. To my best friend: nothing could ever undersell my enthusiasm
   for you, not even Christmas itself. Have a merry one
   
   
10. A friend like you is what makes Christmas special to me. Nothing
    makes me happier than sharing this season with
    you and I can’t wait for Christmas to get here.

Unique Messages & Wishes For Christmas Day

1. "Merry Christmas to the one I love,
   Even on this day of love for all,
   Remembering the love of one whose call,
   Redeemed all those whose hearts his love might move
2. Here is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
   Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.
3. Sending U The Spirit Of Love
   Joy Nd Giving. Unwrap It On Christmas Eve
   Wishing U A Merry Christmas
   Happy Christmas To U And Your All Family
4. May the good times and treasures of the present become th
   e golden memories of tomorrow. Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness. MARRY CHRISTMAS
5.  May this holiday season sparkle and shine, may all of your wishes and dreams come true, and may you feel this happiness all year round.
6. There are three stages of man – He believes in Santa Claus;
   he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
7.  New is the year, new are the hopes and the aspirations, new is the resolution, new are the spirits and forever my warm wishes are for you. Have a promising merry christmas.
8.  May your life be colorful, magnificent, shimmering and joyful – as the magic of Christmas spreads on you!
9.  Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill,
   But let it whistle as it will,
   We’ll keep our Christmas merry still
10.  May your life be colorful magnificent,shimmering and Joyful, As the magic of Christmas spreads on you  Merry Christmas

Christmas Text Messages For Adults

 

• For the lord
  your God had made it possible for you
  to see the month of December!
  So shall all impossibility in your will be possible.
  Wishing u merry x-mas!! & Happy new year
   
• I love Christmas.
  I receive a lot of
  wonderful presents
  I can't wait to exchange.
   
• Last year I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas…I woke up in a box.
   
• Two things upon this changing earth
  can neither change nor end;
  the splendor of Christ’s humble birth,
  the love of friend for friend.
  Marry X’Mas !!
   
• BUY A SCOOTY…..
  PICK UP A BEAUTY…
  DRINK A FROOTY….
  TAKE HER TO OOTY…
  REMOVE HER NIGHTY…
  DO UR DUTY…
  AFTER 9 MONTHS …
  * GET A CUTY *
  Merry Christmas!
  
  
• was the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
  The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
  The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
  It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
   
• Why don’t witches wear panties?
  So they can get a better grip on the broom!
   
• The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.
  
• Christmas is that one special day of the year which is set to celebrate the birth of Christ. It is celebrated with high spirits in various parts of the world. It is the occasion to spread joy and cheer and also the perfect time for the families to gather and party.
  
• Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza
• The salesgirl asked him Do you want your usual?  Deep pan, crisp and even?
• Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
  Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
  
• It was a cold and misty Christmas morning in the very depth of Winter after a heavy fall of snow and only one farmer and the minister managed to arrive at the church for the morning service. “Well”, said the clergyman “'I guess there's no point in having a service today.” “Well that's not how I see it,” said the farmer. “If only one cow turns up at feeding time, I still feed it.
  
• I wonder what Christmas will be No merriment good cheer or glee Now that Santa's arrested Because someone protested That he laid some doll under their tree.
  
• The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today.
  
• On the first Xmas, the first of three Wise Men stepped carefully into the stable but sank his golden slipper into a big pile of manure.”Jesus Christ!” he yelled.The woman beside the manger turned to her husband and said, “Now, Joseph, isn’t that a better name for the kid than Irving.
  
• Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune.Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune.Potential choking hazard: do not use with food.

Top 10 Sexy Santa Girls Wallpapers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naughty christmas Messages

 

• Teacher: What is the first month?
  Student: January
  Teacher: What is the second month?
  Student: February
  Teacher: What is the tenth month?
  Student: Delivery
  Merry Christmas To every one
• I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
• Sometimes I wish I was a bird:
  I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
•  What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women?…. SNOWBALLS
• Why doesn’t Santa have any children?
  He only comes one a year, and that’s down the chimney.
   
• Teacher: What does the Christmas tree stand for?
  Student: It would take too much room lying down.
• Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?
• How do u teach a blonde maths?
  U subtract her chlothes
  Devide her legs
  And square root her.
• Boy I better get started
  shopping for Christmas!
  It is only 5 months away..
• Last year I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas…I woke up in a box.

New Xmas jokes for Adults

• How do you know Santa Claus has to be a man?
  No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year!
• I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
• Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snow ladies? A: Snowballs.
• Why doesn't Santa have any children? He only comes one a year, and that’s down the chimney.
• Father Christmas wins a saucepan in a competition. Now that’s what you call pot luck!
• Closets also had a lot of fun during Christmas Eve celebration instead of boring asses they saw a lot of new faces.
• Q. What happened when Guy ate the Christmas decorations?
• A. He went down with tinsel-itis.
• I always get my loved ones petrol soaked fake mustaches for Christmas. It’s such a joy to watch their faces light up!
• What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
• The One Show.

Dirty Christmas Jokes

Following are some collection of dirty Christmas jokes. You can send them on facebook or whatsapp to a friend. Christmas jokes and funny Christmas text messages are good to entertain someone special in a good way.

• A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"
  The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
  "A Christmas tree?" the young woman asks.
  "Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."
• KISSING at the top,HOLDING at the middle &FIRE at the bottom!
  Do you know the ANSWER?
  WHAT?
  ho…don’t think dirty…
  its A ”CIGARETTE”
• Moneys short,Times are hard
  here a fucking Christmas card
  It was the night before christmas
  and all through the house
  everybody felt shitty
  even the mouse!!!
• (to jingle bells)
   Jingle Bells Batman Smells
   Robin Laid an Egg
   The Bat mobile Lost a Wheel
   And Joker got away
•  (to Have a holly jolly Christmas)
    Have a hottie  naughty Christmas!
    It's the breast time of the year!
    Lots a "elves", With lovely shelves,
    And red-furred white-trimmed rears!
• Santa: "What do you want for Christmas, young man?"
  Boy: "Well, there's a certain thing I'd really like."
  Santa: "What thing is that?"
  Boy: "Everything!"
• Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
  "What denomination?" asked the clerk.
  "Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?" said Maria. "Well give me 50 Methodist and 50 Church of England ones please.
•  On the first Xmas, the first of three Wise Men stepped carefully into the stable but sank his golden slipper into a big pile of manure.”Jesus Christ!” he yelled.The woman beside the manger turned to her husband and said, “Now, Joseph, isn’t that a better name for the kid than Irving?
•  Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
   Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
   I have got something special in the sack for you!
   Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
   I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small talk, sister!Marry  Christmas.
• 
  Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
  the whole goddamn family was drunk as a louse,
  with mom in the whore house and dad in jail,
  I sat myself down to a cold glass of ale.